Connect Inwardly to Connect Outwardly: The Role of Mindfulness in Customer Service

As a general rule, we have the best chance of building strong connections with others when we are most fully connected within ourselves. This goes for personal relationships and for those we wish to strengthen with customers and clients.

In a disconnected world, “being connected” can feel elusive. An encouraging trend toward re-connection, however, is the growing global awareness of mental health and all the tools we have at our fingertips to support whole-person wellness. One tool that has become something of a catchword in recent years is the idea of “mindfulness.” What is mindfulness, and what role can it play in helping you connect effectively in the context of customer service?

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is simply intentional awareness. Mindfulness as a form of meditation dates back to the Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction Program (MBSR) founded by Jon Kabat-Zinn in the late 1970s. jon kabat-zinn describes the practice of mindfulness as the “awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.” While mindfulness can be approached in a number of different ways, this founding definition is especially helpful because it breaks the components of mindfulness into four practical, doable steps:

1) paying attention
2) setting intentions
3) staying in the present
4) refraining from judgment

What are the benefits of mindfulness in general?

The benefits of mindfulness for whole-body health have been recognized in the therapeutic and medical community for decades. According to Mayo clinic , mindfulness has proven effective in alleviating anxiety, depression, insomnia, and the overall perception of pain. the american psychological association explains that mindfulness practices accomplish these results by helping people “avoid destructive or automatic habits and responses by learning to observe their thoughts, emotions, and other present-moment experiences without judging or reacting to them.” All of this combines to lower unhealthy levels of stress in the body.

How can mindfulness support customer service?

There’s nothing that raises stress levels quite like challenging customer interactions. In the world of customer service, no contact often means things are running smoothly. People are more likely to reach out when something is going wrong, and by that point, they’re often (understandably) disgruntled about it.

You simply don’t have control over how the other person chooses to show up in their moment of frustration. What you do have control over is the way you care for your own mental health, giving yourself the best chance to guide whatever interactions come up in a positive, mutually beneficial direction.

Practicing mindfulness wires the brain for better internal connectivity, and this, in turn, equips you to build better connections and stronger relationships with those around you, including your customers.

Mindfulness increases your ability to regulate your emotions.

emotional regulation is the capacity to consciously or unconsciously influence our emotional state. Emotional self-regulation involves modulating our responses to the demands of the moment in ways that are both personally authentic and socially beneficial. A toddler has little capacity for self-regulation, hence the terror of the “terrible twos.” This is a skill we learn over a lifetime, but self-regulation can be especially difficult to achieve in times of stress, like those tricky customer interactions. psychology today explains that mindfulness increases the capacity for self-regulation by building stronger connections between the prefrontal cortex (or executive center) and the amygdala (or fear center) of the brain. When you’re feeling threatened and stressed out, this allows the prefrontal cortex to reassure your amygdala that you aren’t actually in danger. Everything’s okay, you can chill.

Mindfulness decreases emotional reactivity.

When your amygdala gets the signal that you’re in danger, it goes into one of the survival responses, usually categorized into fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. In a stressful customer interaction, one of these survival responses could come out in a sharp retort, avoiding dealing with the customer entirely, shutting down, or giving in when you don’t actually want to. These are all expressions of emotional reactivity.

While negative emotions are perfectly warranted under challenging circumstances, you don’t have to be controlled by them. By increasing connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, mindfulness can help you slow it down so you can choose whether you want to act from those emotions or not. While you might feel threatened, you know you aren’t actually in danger, so there’s time to decide.

Mindfulness increases empathy.

Being aware (paying attention) and doing so without jumping to harsh conclusions (non-judgment) are two of the four keys to Kabat-Zinn’s definition of mindfulness. When directed inwardly, this form of attention encourages self-acceptance so you can learn about yourself without any critical strings attached. The same goes when directed outwardly. A spirit of non-judgmental observation allows you to get curious about the customer sitting across from you, whether literally or over a call, email, or Zoom.

Stepping into the customer’s shoes defuses tension as you are able to understand them as a fellow human rather than a threat. Likewise, as the customer picks up on your empathetic signals, they are able to see you as someone who cares about their experience and wants to help. It often leads to those golden “aha!” moments where you realize how to dispel misunderstanding, get back on the same page, and meet the core need in a way that works for both of you.

How can you get started with mindfulness in customer service?

The benefits of mindfulness are abundantly apparent, but how do you actually practice it, especially in those tricky interpersonal moments? Just as athletes spend hours in training off-season to be ready for the big game, the best place to start incorporating mindfulness is before stepping onto the customer service playing court. Once you’ve made mindfulness a habit, you’ll find yourself able to draw on it wherever you need it. Here are some ideas to get you started with paying attention, in the present moment, on purpose, without judgment:

Pause.

Build in moments to slow it down. This can be especially helpful in the middle of the workday when your mind is full or starting to race. Consider blocking out a few minutes before meetings or in the transitions between tasks. When interacting with a customer, you can incorporate this practice by saying “Let’s pause for a moment and…”. Doing so will give you both space to collect your thoughts, regulate your emotions, and return to the issue at hand with greater clarity.

Breathe.

Get in the habit of using those pauses to take some deep breaths. When stressed, especially for a prolonged period of time, we often unconsciously hold our breath, so you might find you need to retrain yourself in how to breathe deeply. You could try 4-7-8 breathing , color breathing, or a similar practice. Many schools of meditation also focus on returning to the breath. When this becomes a habit, you can practice focusing on your breath in the midst of customer interactions. Not only will this help you slow it down, and regulate emotionally, it will help you get oxygen flowing to your brain so you can think more clearly.

Notice.

Tune into the world around you for short moments here and there. The 1-2-3-4-5 technique was developed to help lower anxiety, but it’s also an easy way to practice noticing even when you’re not feeling especially anxious. Perhaps make a game of finding 5 objects of the same color or shape, changing the color or shape every day. Perhaps count as many sounds as you can hear or spend a moment appreciating a comforting taste or texture. You may take this opportunity to ground both feet flat on the floor – or even better, on the earth outside during one of your built-in breaks! Training your ability to notice is like acquiring a customer service superpower. The more observant you are, the better of a problem solver you will become.

Ultimately, we are best equipped to connect effectively with others when we are well-connected within ourselves. Mindfulness isn’t a magic bullet to solve all the relational dilemmas that can arise with customers and others. However, it does offer a powerful framework for training an increasingly calm and stable inner baseline so that you can show up the way you want in any situation.

WRITTEN BY: DEBORAH STEVENSON